V For Virginity | +REFLECTIONS | TuckTube
In this video, Tuck discusses the true meaning of the V word, Virginity.
Are you a virgin? Well, I lost my virginity five years ago to a blonde six-foot-three white male model with rock hard abs. And by losing my virginity I mean ‘fourth base’ or the ‘home run’. Yes, I’m Gay and if you haven’t figured that out I encourage you to watch my first video from this Positive Reflections series: “Being Gay is a Gift From God”.
So back to the blonde six-foot-three white male model with rock hard abs: it seemed like the ultimate sexual fantasy at the time, growing up watching Disney films, seeing Brad Pitt in Troy and constantly being exposed to fashion ad campaigns featuring white male models. To ‘fourth base’ with this white sex icon as portrayed by the media seemed almost too good to be true. And whilst it was true, I can’t help but reflect upon why the ultimate sexual fantasy in my mind was not an Asian and Gay man? Because Asian and Gay is the person I see when I look in the mirror.
I’ll be talking more about diversity and representation of Asian and Gay men in the media in future videos, but for now, I am here to discuss the true meaning of the V word. Virginity. The word ‘virgin’ comes from the Latin, ‘virgo’ meaning “young lady”. Virgo is also one of the 12 zodiac signs. And its symbol, is a young lady. If you’re a Virgo watching this video, please let us know in the comments section.
So why are we using the V word meaning ‘young lady’ to describe someone who “has not had sexual penetration” and to even describe olive oil that is pressed for the first time? And was Mary a ‘young lady’? Who knows?
I feel if anything the V word, virginity is related to the idealistic representation of a “young lady” - with traits such as innocence. Containing that childlike, unconditional Love that pervades the embodiment of a nourished soul. But indeed, that embodiment of innocence - childlike, unconditional Love has no gender. In fact, it is prior to gender. A compelling force that is the source of all creation and creativity. A force that is never lost and has nothing to do with sexual penetration.
One of my favourite painters Agnes Martin talks about innocence. She describes: “that we have a tremendous range of abstract feelings. One day as she was sitting and waiting for inspiration about innocence. Into her mind came a series of lines and combination of colours that looked like innocence.” Take a look at this painting from Martin’s Innocent Love Series in 1999. This one’s called “Where Babies Come From”. What do you see? What do you feel? What do you experience?
What I know for sure is – not all babies come from sexual penetration. I’m an IVF child conceived without sexual penetration 25 years ago. Can you imagine that little sperm finally meeting that egg in a test-tube after countless trials and I was created? That has nothing to do with the act of sex or someone losing their virginity. It blows my mind. It makes me reflect upon everything we understand about “where babies come from”.
Innocence, love and the sublime are all traits of the V word. The next time you think about virginity or have a conversation with your friends about virginity, instead of thinking about dicks, vaginas or asses and sexual penetration, try feeling and meditating upon the pure emotions that arise when you hold the thought “where babies come from”. What do you experience? Do you visualise sexual penetration? Or do you experience feelings of innocence, love, joy and childlike wonder? Let us know. Thank you.